5 Lame Marvel Villains That Are Actually Terrifying


1. Mysterio’s cheesy illusions will destroy your life and crush your soul

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If there’s one fan-favorite Spider-Man villain, it’s definitely Mysterio. Wait, you don’t love Mysterio? You think he’s just a fish controlling a giant robot while swimming around in an upturned bowl for a head? You think he’s a lame, whiny villain who looks like the type of character you’d see in a movie making fun of nerds? Okay, yes, he’s all of those things. But he’s a little more, too.

Mysterio’s whole gimmick revolves around his power of illusion. Granted, a lot of times these are dopey parlor tricks, but making someone believe something that’s not real can be a powerful thing. A particularly intense dose of this trickery almost drove Peter Parker insane. Daredevil had it worse — a nasty drug cocktail and some special effects had him thinking he was literally in hell

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Heck, Mysterio’s crimes aren’t even contained to one world. This “small-timer” shattered the dimensional bridge between the Ultimate Universe and the Mainstream Marvel Universe. He is the only villain to fight Spider-Man on more than one world, on purpose! You know who’s tough? Spider-Man. And you know who’s tougher? The guy who fights two of them… for kicks!

By far the cruelest, most twisted thing Mysterio ever did was seen in a flashback of the comic Old Man Logan, which is a little different than the movie that made its way to theaters. Picture a grizzled Wolverine remembering the day that every supervillain teamed up to wipe out the heroes, and imagine the killing rampage Logan would go on to save his friends. 

Now imagine that Mysterio tricked Wolverine into killing his friends.

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Forget Doc Ock. Forget the Green Goblin. Spider-Man’s scariest villain wears a giant fishbowl and a purple cape. 

2. Stilt-Man was inches away from caving in Spider-Man’s skull

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Let’s say you’re assembling a super evil team… but all the big hitters are taken. Who can you turn to? Well, believe it or not, Stilt Man is a good candidate. No joke. Yes, he’s a bit ridiculous but that’s good! That just means that people will underestimate him.

He’s got good experience having fought Daredevil dozens of times and even stood his ground against Thor. How many people do you know that could fight a literal God? Because Stilt-Man took Thor on and almost won. Even if you don’t care about close calls, there’s always the time that he straight-up defeated Spider-Man. Yeah, that Spider-Man.

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You could say that Stilt Man has a code, that Spidey selflessly sacrificing his own well-being was what made a supervillain go soft. Or you could read Stilt Man’s monologue a different way, and possibly suggest that he only spared Spider-Man’s life because no one else was around to see his ultimate moment of triumph. 

What more do you want from Stilt Man? For him not to have a completely lame name? For him not to look like the inside of a giraffe costume? Those… yeah, okay, those are fair. 

3. Fin Fang Foom is a lot more threatening than the name implies

Lame Marvel Villains That Are Actually Terrifying

As a villain, Fin Fang Foom may have a few problems For one, his name. For two, he wears purple pants. But when you dig past the obvious Hulk parallels, Fin Fang Foom is more than a giant, dinosaur looking thing that once stuck a dude in his pants.

He’s been called the echoes of a the very idea of dragon, something beyond scope. When Jormungandr, the World Ender, wanted to find a form that could match its own terrible destructive power, it took on the guise of Fin Fang Foom. He’s a world conquerer and beast of utter destruction. He’s an apocalypse in dragon form.

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He’s basically the Marvel version of Godzilla (although Marvel did once have Godzilla too, but that’s a whole nother story). Heck, a ship from his home planet (yeah, he’s an alien) stripped of parts became the instruments to give the Mandarin his powers. When Fin Fang Foom actually puts his mind to it, he can take over a third of China, being beaten only by Iron Man, War Machine, and the Mandarin working together. Plus, Fin’s got some friends.

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He’s one of the most powerful beasts in the Marvel Universe and that’s saying something. You can’t go wrong with a technologically advanced alien psychic monster, no matter their choice of underpants.

 

4. Paste Pot Pete deserves some respect, dammit

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This guy has always had some issues getting respect. Aside from his supervillain name having his civilian name just right there in it, Paste Pot Pete’s main weapon is… paste. As in, glue. He just makes things sticky.

Or, at least, that’s what he did when he started out. See, when he first went up against the Human Torch, that was his only weapon, but he slowly realized that he needed to step up his game if he was going to take on all these powerful superheroes. In an effort to gain notoriety, Pete joined the Frightful Four, battling and even beating the Fantastic Four at one point. Yet, even though he bested the people who defeated Galactus, he couldn’t get anyone to call him anything but Paste Pot Pete.

Maybe that’s a good thing, though. With such a silly name, enemies are bound to underestimate him. Enemies like Deadpool.

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Oh, and remember when Peter Parker was stuck in Doc Ock’s body, and dying? Well, it was the Trapster Paste Pot Pete who managed to create a life support system that kept PeterOck alive long enough for him to mindmeld with Doc Ock and convince him to be a hero. That’s a little confusing, but when it comes down to it, that kind of means Pete has taken down Spider-Man, Doctor Octopus, the Fantastic Four, Deadpool and Daredevil. What other villains can say that?

5. The Spot uses cartoonish powers to horrifying ends

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You know what’s frightening? Polka dots! Okay, no, probably not. But The Spot is truly scary, and not just because his power is… using Looney Tunes-esque holes in reality to move around.

I mean for one, as silly as it looks, that’s actually a really freaking cool ability. Think about it — he can get out of any spot (heh) he gets into. Even the superpowered Negative Zone prison from the original Civil War could hold him. Oh, and did we mention killing him does nothing? Yeah, Tombstone snapped his neck and he just shrugged it off. That’s not the only time he’s died either; due to his connection to the “Darkforce” — the same thing that gives Mister Negative and Cloak their powers — allows him to just not die. Ever. He’s basically an evil, living cartoon character who has taken on Spider-Man, Jessica Jones, Daredevil, and almost every other big name superhero, using powers that amount to nothing but normal human punches. 

But the most unsettling part about Spot isn’t Spot at all. It’s a guy named Coyote, a villain given the same powers. Instead of just using his little black holes to jump all over the world, Coyote used his pots to create prisoners by placing a “spot” in the neck of his living victims. 

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Daredevil is still alive here. But he’s got a special collar on that is “teleporting” all the blood and vital bodily fluids to his brain. So while the body acts as though everything is fine, Daredevil can see (or uh, sense) that something is very, very wrong. 

At one point, we see the extent of Coyote’s awful plot, when he opens a cupboard and we see dozens of severed (but living) heads. Since the victims don’t know where their restrained bodies are, all they can do is wail and scream, and sometimes eat from a bucket.

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C’mon, you can’t pretend that’s not scarier than a dude who dresses in a Halloween costume and throws pumpkins at people.



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